


Co-Parenting for Dummies

by dearzoemurphy



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Season/Series 03, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29750217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: “Is that…”“It’s a baby,” Annie said bluntly.Sure enough, there was a basket sitting right outside their door, and in that basket was an infant swaddled in a light blue blanket with nary a clue as to where it had come from.Annie makes a shocking discovery.
Relationships: Troy Barnes & Annie Edison & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes & Shirley Bennett & Annie Edison & Abed Nadir & Britta Perry & Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 28
Kudos: 44





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [transtrobed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtrobed/gifts), [androgynousmikewheeler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousmikewheeler/gifts), [merely_indifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merely_indifferent/gifts), [annieedisongf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieedisongf/gifts).



> hello this exists because of a conversation that the wlwerewolves had a couple months ago where we created a Trobedison child!! I wrote this primarily for them, but I hope that others will enjoy it as well. extra smooches to everyone who helped bring David to life, so much love to you all!! <3

“Troy? Abed? I think you guys need to come here.”

“What is it, Annie?” Troy asked as he strolled over to where she was frozen in the doorway to their apartment. Abed quickly joined his roommates and peered over Annie’s shoulder to see what she was staring at.

“Is that…”

“It’s a baby,” Annie said bluntly.

Sure enough, there was a basket sitting right outside their door, and in that basket was an infant swaddled in a light blue blanket with nary a clue as to where it had come from.

“Do you think its mom accidentally put it down here?” Troy asked. He poked his head out the door and looked up and down the hall in search of the person who set this tiny human down in front of their apartment.

“I don’t know,” Abed hummed, “but we probably shouldn’t leave it out in the hall all alone.”

“You’re right.”

Annie leaned down to grab the basket by the handle and slowly picked it up to walk it over to their kitchen table. Abed shut the door behind them as Annie set the basket down and stepped back to look at the baby. Troy and Abed both quickly joined her in gazing at the child with complete and utter befuddlement.

“What do we do? Who do we call?” Annie asked as the infant began to whimper.

“I don’t know! There isn’t a class on what to do when a _baby_ shows up unexpectedly at your door!” Troy exclaimed. He began to rub his temples, stepping away from the table to nervously pace back and forth across their living room.

Abed kept his eyes locked on the baby and eventually reached out to it. However, instead of grabbing the child, he snatched up an envelope that had been left on top of its blanket.

“Oh! That’s something! What does it say?” Annie asked eagerly. Abed tore it open and unfolded the letter inside, scanning the paper for a moment before looking back up at her.

“We’re doing Three Men and a Baby.”

“Excuse me?”

“Three Men and a Baby. This is my child, the mother couldn’t take care of it, so she left it on our doorstep. This is a little different since I’m not in Turkey nor am I an actor, but the format is fundamentally the same,” Abed explained.

“Wait…your child?!” Troy asked, sounding more than a little outraged.

“Yup,” Abed replied nonchalantly.

Annie blinked, then shook her head, as if the actions put together would help her to make sense of the situation. “So you mean to tell us that you have a kid that you didn’t know about and now you have to care for it without so much as a ‘hello’ from the mother?”

“Pretty much.”

“Who even _is_ the mother?”

“Not sure. I didn’t think this was anywhere close to a likely scenario, to be perfectly honest. I’ve only run something like this once in the Dreamatorium.”

Troy stopped pacing and stepped in between Anne and Abed. “So you mean to tell me that not only do you have a kid, but you’re not sure who the mother is?”

“Yup.”

“That’s…cool. That’s cool.” Troy seemed to slump over a little as Abed turned towards his child and reached into the basket to pick them up.

“Does it have a name? And is it a boy or girl?” Annie asked, timidly taking a step closer to Abed and leaning in to get a better look at the baby’s face.

“The letter said this was my son, so boy. And no name yet.” Abed cradled his son like it was a second nature, like he instinctively knew exactly where to place his hands and how close to hold him to his chest.

“Can we help you name him?” Troy asked.

“Of course. I’ve never thought about this before, so I don’t have any ideas.”

“How about David?” Troy suggested without a second thought.

Annie narrowed her eyes at him. “Is that the name of a movie character?”

“Whaaat? No, no way.”

Abed gave Troy the slightest of smiles as he started gently rocking his son back and forth. “David. I like that.”

“Hm, David Nadir, I guess that does have a nice ring to it,” Annie said, though she still seemed skeptical about the origin of the name.

Abed looked down at his son once again. “About that…I know this all is incredibly sudden and has come as somewhat of a shock. I’m still trying to process it myself.”

“You can say _that_ again,” Troy groused.

“This is a big decision to make on such short notice, but how do you two feel about helping me to raise David?”

“Of course I’m in!” Annie exclaimed without missing a beat. She placed a hand on Abed’s shoulder and smiled down at little David. “It is sudden, yes, and that’s exactly why I can’t let you do this alone. A lot goes into raising a kid. There’s a lot of more serious conversations that need to happen, like, how are we going to make enough money to support a kid when we can barely pay our rent? But…the point is, you’re not in this by yourself. I’m in.”

“Me too. Remember how we almost did this last year?” Troy said, scooting close enough to join his roommates in looking at the baby.

“We did, didn’t we? Well, what I was thinking is that if we’re to raise David together, Three Men and a Baby-style, then he shouldn’t have just _my_ last name.”

“You want him to have three last names?” Annie asked, sounding mildly concerned.

Abed thought for a moment. “I suppose that _would_ be a lot to put on this small of a human. Maybe…”

“We could combine all of our names,” Troy suggested.

Annie gasped. “That would be so cool! But…how?”

The group went silent for a moment, the only sound in the apartment being David’s soft and indistinguishable babbles.

“We could take syllables from each of our names and put them together,” Abed decided. “Something like…Edibardir.”

Annie furrowed her brow. “What about…Bardirson?”

“Edisonades?” Troy suggested.

“Nedisones?”

“…Nadisones?”

Abed paused to consider Annie’s last suggestion. “Hm. Nadisones. David Nadisones. Now _that_ has a nice ring to it.” The baby in his arms cooed, and Annie let out a soft ‘aw.’

“He likes it!” she squealed.

“What about his middle name?” Troy asked.

“I think we’ve made enough big decisions for one day,” Abed said. He continued rocking David, but looked up at his roommates. “This isn’t going to be easy. And the first thing we need to do is get baby formula and a place for him to sleep.”

“I was going out to the store, anyway. I’ll get formula while I’m there! And maybe see if they have some onesies or something,” Annie said, then paused. “That’s what those baby clothes are called, right? Onesies?”

“I think so. I don’t know, I don’t have much experience with babies,” Troy said as he poked one finger out to stroke the outside of David’s foot.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Onesies,” Abed affirmed.

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do.” Annie swiftly grabbed her keys off the table and gave one last look to her roommates and the baby that had somehow become theirs.

“Good luck, Annie!” Troy called without looking away from David for a second.

“Thanks! I’ll be back as soon as possible. We won’t want David to go hungry,” she said. She waved at the other three before ducking out the front door.

As soon as she was gone, Troy slowly lifted his head to look at Abed. “Do you feel bad about lying to Annie?”

“About?”

“David not being the name of a movie character.”

Abed’s mouth curled into a thin smile as he set David back down into his basket. “It’s okay, she doesn’t need to know. I can already tell he’s going to be our little kickpuncher.”

Troy smiled back. “Good. I mean, we’ll have to tell her one day. Or she’ll figure it out the next time we watch Kickpuncher IV: the Kickpunchening and Kickpuncher’s real name is revealed.”

“That’s fine. It’ll be too late then,” Abed said. He tucked David’s blanket tightly around him and gently patted his arm before turning back to Troy. “I think we’re already too attached to the name, anyway.”

“David Nadisones,” Troy said, just to hear it out loud again, just to practice saying it. “If you told me this morning that we’d have a kid by this evening, that might have melted my brain. But, it’s weird, I’m not freaking out right now.”

“I’m not, either. I’ll freak out later when I start running numbers and scenarios in the Dreamatorium.”

Troy laughed nervously. “You know, you _are_ strangely calm. Like, not in a bad way. This just seems like…like it would be more like Daylight Savings’ Time.”

“Well, that doesn’t make sense. This makes more sense than it seemed to at first,” Abed said matter-of-factly. “There was a small chance that I could have had a child, but still a chance. And, due to the format of our show, this humorous yet heartfelt twist fits right in.”

“Our show?” Troy asked, tilting his head to one side.

Abed waved his hand dismissively. “You know, our lives.”

“Oh. Got it.”

David made a soft noise, drawing Troy and Abed’s attention back towards him.

“You know, I’m not the biggest fan of babies. But, I must say, I helped make a pretty cute one,” Abed said as they looked fondly down at him.

Troy glanced sideways at his roommate, and smiled at him smiling at his baby. “You did, Abed. You really did. And raising him together is gonna be so much fun.”

“I can’t wait until we can show him the Dreamatorium,” Abed said wistfully.

“And show him Star Wars for the first time.”

“And give him buttered noodles.”

“We’re gonna have to change a lot of diapers before we get there,” Troy said, sounding mildly defeated.

“That’s what we forget to tell Annie to get. Diapers,” Abed said. He whipped out his phone and began frantically typing. “Is there anything else we forgot?”

“I don’t think so.”

Abed nodded as he sent off the text. Troy noticed David start to kick the air, his tiny feet swatting at nothing in particular.

“Abed! Look!”

His roommate put down his phone and looked back down at David. “You gave him the right name. Now, we just have to teach him how to punch.”

“But not too soon. He needs to be a baby before he can take on the responsibilities of a superhero,” Troy said, deathly serious.

Abed chuckled. “Of course. We’ll let him be a baby, and a toddler, and a kid, and a teenager. And then we’ll tell him about his destiny.”

“Your kid is gonna be the coolest, Abed.”

“ _Our_ kid, Troy. Yours and Annie’s and mine,” Abed gently corrected.

Troy’s smile widened. “Right. David Nadisones, our kid.”


	2. Parenting 101

“So the baby just…showed up at your front door?” Shirley asked. She was looking at Troy and Annie with a healthy mix of concern and intrigue; like she wanted more details but feared what those details might be.

“Pretty much. There was a note in his basket explaining that he was Abed’s, but nothing else. The mom didn’t even introduce herself,” Troy replied.

The residents of apartment 303 had decided that the next logical step in their parenting journey would be to call up the only other parent they knew to ask for advice. Abed had sourced a crib, carseat, and stroller on Craigslist, so he stayed at the apartment with David and arranged for the seller to bring the goods there. Meanwhile, Annie and Troy made plans to meet Shirley for coffee, and hadn’t shared their primary motivation for doing so in advance. As such, their friend had to process a lot of information in a short amount of time.

Shirley frowned at Troy’s statement and shook her head. “How rude of her! To inform Abed of a major life development and not even stop by to say hello.”

“Abed’s taking it rather well,” Annie quickly piped up before Shirley could disparage the woman further. “He says that we’re doing Three Men and a Baby, which is a movie I haven’t seen, but he’ll probably make us watch it as soon as we can get David to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“And how long have you had this baby?”

“Barely a day,” Annie answered.

“Oh, snap, what are we going to do with him while we’re in school? Take him to class? Get him a little chair that can attach to our desks? Give him smaller versions of our school supplies and help him write little papers?” Troy asked.

Annie squinted in his direction. “You seem to have put a lot of thought into this…”

“You shouldn’t have to do any of that, there’s a daycare on Greendale’s campus for people like you all,” Shirley assured him.

“Oh! That’s cool. And here I was, worried that I would have to teach a baby about mitosis.”

“There’s a lot bigger things to be worried about,” Annie said with a sigh. “Do you know how much the daycare costs, Shirley?”

“It’s free, as far as I know.”

“Well, that’s one problem down!” Troy said hopefully.

“Right.” Annie flashed him a shaky smile. “One problem down.”

“So, why exactly did you want to meet me here?” Shirley asked. She set her latte down and looked at her friends with mild apprehension.

“We want your advice. All of it,” Troy explained.

“You’re the only person we know who’s successfully raised a kid, let alone three,” Annie elaborated. “What do we do? Where do we start?”

“Well, you’ve already started, haven’t you?” Shirley said. “Getting formula and diapers and such. It’s hard to put everything I know into a little package, but…I’ll do my best.”

\---

“Did you know that we have to decide if we’re going to let David cry himself to sleep or comfort him when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Shirley said there’s no wrong answer, but it kinda seemed like she thought there was,” Troy said as he flung open the door to apartment 303.

Abed looked up from where he was sitting in a chair in the living room. “What was that?”

“We got a lot of great advice from Shirley, but she said that ultimately, we have to make a lot of decisions about what our parenting style will be. And we have to research those decisions and try to figure out what will have the best possible outcome and- what are you doing?” Annie started to elaborate, but became distracted when she laid eyes on Abed.

“Oh, me? I’m reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar to David,” Abed said. When Troy and Annie entered the living room and sat down on their couch, they got confirmation of that fact as they were greeted by the sight of Abed holding baby David in his arms and balancing the book in his lap. “The man who sold us the crib and everything was really nice. He brought along some of his kids’ old books and gave them to us for free. Said that reading to them at a young age helps with their cognitive development, even though they don’t understand what the words mean yet.”

“Aw! Well…that’s one less decision to make, right?” Annie said.

“Right. And one of the biggest decisions parents face is breastfeeding versus bottle feeding, but that one doesn’t apply to us,” Abed added.

“Shirley told us that Greendale has a daycare, so we won’t have to get him little school supplies,” Troy said, his tone rather serious.

“That’s kind of a bummer. I was looking forward to that one,” Abed said, to which Annie wrinkled her nose and had to visibly hold back judgement.

“I think we’re going to be okay. We should definitely check out a parenting book from the library or something, just so we can see everything on paper” Annie suggested.

“We’ve got that covered already. One of the books that we were given is about different parenting styles,” Abed replied.

Troy grinned. “Wow, stuff just keeps showing up, huh? First David, now a parenting book!”

Abed smiled back at him and closed the book he was holding so that he could wrap both arms around David. “Can you make room? I’m coming over there.”

Annie and Troy swiftly obliged, scooting apart to make space on the couch between them so that Abed could sit down, David still nestled snugly in his arms.

“Do either of you want to hold him?”

“I mean…sure,” Annie said timidly. She reached out for the baby as Abed slowly passed him over.

“Alright, just put one hand there…bend your arm like that…other hand behind the head…perfect,” Abed instructed, his hands moving Annie’s so that she was properly supporting David. The baby let out a soft babble, to which Annie’s face contorted in pure bliss.

“Hi, David! It’s me, your…wait, what will we have him call us when he can talk?”

Abed hummed thoughtfully. “Good question. I assume I’ll be Dad, but I hadn’t yet thought about you two.”

“Can I be Dad 2? And, if not, then I’ll be Papa,” Troy said.

Annie laughed as she began to gently rock David back and forth in her arms. “I think Papa works better. And…I think that I want to be Ima. It’s Hebrew for ‘mom.’”

“I like it,” Abed said, “Dad, Papa, and Ima. David’s classmates will have some questions, I’m sure, but three parents are more fun than two.” David let out another joyful babble.

“I’ll be honest, this isn’t exactly how I pictured becoming a mom. But…I’m not upset about it in the slightest, even if it was completely unexpected,” Annie said, smiling down at their baby.

“I’m glad that he’s responding well to all of us so far. I read that it’s common for babies to initially favor one parent over the others, so it’s incredible that his immediate first impression seems to be that he likes us all equally. And, on top of that, he hasn’t been too fussy,” Abed remarked.

“Oh, those days will come,” Annie said with a laugh, “but I’m sure David is as sweet as he is because of who his father is.”

“Yeah. There’s no way that you could have made a baby that’s not perfect,” Troy added.

Abed smiled down at David before turning to look at Troy. “I’m sure you won’t always think David is perfect, but that’s not what matters. We’ll always love him, and hopefully, we’ll do a good enough job that he always loves us.”

“We will,” Annie said confidently. “We will, we’re going to be the parents that we always wanted.”

“That’s a good way to look at it. We have a chance to always do our best and put in the utmost effort.”

“And three parents are better than two!” Troy said cheerfully.

“Do you want to hold him, Troy?” Annie asked, lifting David up slightly. He nodded vigorously, so Abed reached out to take him from Annie and carefully pass him over to Troy. He instructed Troy on how to hold David in a similar fashion, his fingers lingering on Troy’s arms for a few moments as the pair settled into place.

“Hi, David. I’m your Papa,” Troy murmured. “We don’t know a lot about each other yet, but I love you so, so much.”

Annie let out a soft ‘aw’ as Troy pulled David closer to his chest. “I can’t wait to see what he’ll be like when he’s older. If he’s anything like Abed…”

“He’ll be something like all of us,” Abed interjected. “He may be biologically related to me, but all of us are raising him. Remember, he’s _our_ child.”

“Right. Hopefully, he’ll only get the best from all of us,” Annie said with a nod.

“Good thing there’s not much bad in any of us for him to pick up,” Troy said, still gazing fondly down at David. Abed and Annie both turned to look at him, somewhat stunned by his sweetness.

“Aw, Troy!” Annie squealed.

“We all have our vices, of course. But I’ll take the sweet movie moment,” Abed said. He got up from the couch and darted over to the chair to grab their copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. When he came back and settled down once more, he flipped open to the page that he had left off on and began reading again, orienting the book so that David could see the pictures.

They were going to be alright. They still didn’t have much of an idea of what they were doing, but they didn’t need a book to tell them how to love their new son.


	3. How to Build an Extended Family

"So who’s the mom?” Britta asked as she peered down into the baby carrier on the study room table.

“I’m not sure. There’s only a handful of options, but she clearly didn’t want to be involved in raising David. I won’t go looking for her if she doesn’t want to be found,” Abed said.

“A handful…” Troy muttered. Abed turned to give him a curious look, to which Troy averted his gaze down to the carpet.

“That’s fair. I still can’t believe this is all real, it seems like the kind of thing that could only happen in movies,” Britta said.

“This is Greendale, Britta. Nothing that happens here seems real,” Jeff remarked. He took a step closer to the table and joined her in observing baby David, his expression softening when he locked eyes with the infant. “And you made one stinking cute baby, Abed.”

Britta snorted. “Since when does Jeff Winger use the phrase ‘stinking cute’?”

“Since I saw this fucking baby!”

“Hey, hey, don’t swear in front of David!” Troy exclaimed, pushing both Jeff and Britta out of the way and holding his arms up in front of the baby carrier, as if that would shield his child from the harsh language.

“He’s a baby, he doesn’t understand what any words mean yet,” Jeff said with a hint of exasperation.

“Yeah, but what if he hears you swear and then his first word is a swear word, hm? Wouldn’t you feel bad?” Troy asked pointedly.

“It would be the exact kind of sitcom shenanigan that I’d like to get up to, but I would prefer that David’s first word was something better. Like ‘dada’ or ‘inspector,’” Abed interjected.

“You really think your baby’s first word is going to be a complex three-syllable one?” Britta asked, one of her eyebrows quirking up.

“I’m sure that David’s going to be a super genius. Nothing’s impossible for him.”

“Yeah, and what do you know about babies, Britta? You ever had one?” Troy asked.

“No, but…”

“Troy raises an excellent point. How _do_ you know that this baby’s first word _won’t_ be ‘inspector’?” Jeff asked snarkily. Britta crossed her arms and glared at him, to which he laughed.

“Hi, guys! I see you picked David up from the daycare,” Annie cooed as she entered the study room. She made a beeline for the carrier and stuck one finger in to tickle her baby’s foot. David babbled happily as she kept cooing at him and asking him questions that he surely didn’t comprehend.

“Oh, I actually get to meet him today?!” Shirley exclaimed. She rushed into the room and practically knocked Annie out of the way in order to get a good look at David. “Hi, Davey! I’m Shirley. And aren’t you just the cutest thing?”

“Yes, we figured that you all should meet him as soon as possible. That, and there’s nowhere else to put him once the daycare closes,” Abed said, smiling as he watched his friend reach out to stroke his baby’s head. “And, now that you’ve all been introduced…we have a proposition.” Troy and Annie immediately flew to his side and stood in front of the rest of the group, as if this was the beginning of a rehearsed routine.

“So, as you all know, Abed and Troy are David’s dads and I’m his mom,” Annie said.

“But we want him to have more of an extended family that’s not made up of our _actual_ extended families,” Troy continued.

“It didn’t take any time at all to decide who we wanted to be in that extended family. So…how do you feel about being aunts and uncle to David?” Abed looked over Britta, Shirley, and Jeff in turn to gauge their reactions.

“Of course, Abed. I mean, not that I ever wanted anything to do with children, but you three are my friends. I can’t say no,” Jeff said.

“Oh, shove it, Winger, you said David was, and I quote, ‘stinking cute’ just a few minutes ago! Don’t take the high ground,” Britta said with a dramatic eye roll.

“I can take the high ground if I want to take the high ground! And that’s not a lie, I don’t like babies in theory. But in practice…I guess it could be fun to be an impressively cool uncle,” Jeff admitted.

Britta scoffed at his use of the phrase ‘impressively cool’ before giving her own answer. “I’d love to be an aunt. I never saw myself as having kids, but I’ve always wanted to be a fun aunt.”

“More like a wine aunt, I’m sure,” Jeff muttered.

“Is that even a thing?”

“I don’t know, is the ‘fun aunt’ even a thing?”

“It would be an honor,” Shirley said, cutting Jeff and Britta’s argument short. “As the only one with any…real parenting experience, I would be happy to help out however I can.”

“Aw, you guys!” Annie squealed. She rushed forward and threw one arm around Shirley and reached for Britta with the other. The rest of the group quickly closed in on them and enveloped themselves in a tight hug.

“David is gonna have the best family ever,” Troy said, sighing happily. As if on cue, David gave a little coo as the group broke apart. They all looked down to see him kicking at the air, continuing to demonstrate how Troy and Abed’s choice of name was rather fitting.

“I don’t know how we’re going to ever study with this little cutie pie around,” Shirley said, leaning down to look at David more closely again.

“Did we ever study in the first place?” Jeff asked.

“I mean…we tried to,” Annie grumbled.

“Abed! We can get David some of those little school supplies we talked about! So that he can study with us!” Troy said excitedly.

“That sounds like a great idea.” Abed smiled at his roommate, then at the group at large. “I appreciate you all for being so accepting and so willing to join us on this journey.”

“After all we’ve been through, did you really expect anything less?” Jeff asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

Abed’s smile widened. “No, I really shouldn’t have.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably update this as I feel like it since I'm intending for it to be more slice of life and less plot-driven. I have lots of little ideas and I'm really looking forward to having a more laid back project to work on between my s6 AU!!
> 
> let me know what you thought in the comments if you're so inclined!! hope you all are doing well and have an amazing day or night. <3


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